Can't Get Much Worse - Chapter 9

My chapter of the Great Substack Story Challenge 2

This is my chapter of Can’t Get Much Worse, the collaborative short story that I wrote with nine other Substack fiction writers as part of the Great Substack Story Challenge 2. The GSSC is organized by Fictionistas volunteers; you can read more about it by following the link at the end of this chapter.

While all ten writers voted on a prompt to get the project started, none of us knew where this story would go, we all worked independently, the order was assigned randomly, and we didn’t get any sneak previews. Each writer started on the day the preceding chapter was published, and each of us had only one week to read the latest installment, then write our own chapter to build on what came before. It was quite a challenge to undertake, and it’s pretty wild to read.

I invite you to read Can’t Get Much Worse from start to finish. If you’ve already read the preceding 8 chapters, you can dive right in with my installment below. Otherwise, click the First Chapter link and read your way through to my chapter and the finale.

Can't Get Much Worse - Chapter 9

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Listen, bub. You listening?

I come from a regal line, see? Fierce predators who ruled everything since the paleolithic. I’m descended from wolves, Jacko. Dire wolves. Yeah, yeah, okay, they’re my cousins. Same difference. Wolves, jackals, coyotes, dingos. We’re a big deal.

So it’s pretty frigging insulting to be called a stupid name like Bear. Bears are ursine, for chrissake, not canine. Humans are idio—

Hey, wiener! Wiener!

Crap. He caught it. How does he always catch it?

No matter. He’ll drop one soon. The odds are with me. So is the wind. And believe me when I tell you, bub, when that wiener man does dump one of those plump morsels onto the concrete, this predator will be ready to pounce. No leash will hold me. It’s been too long since these fangs have tasted the heady tang of bloody flesh.

Anyway, I was saying. Wolves. How do I know all this stuff? Dogs are smart, bub. Sure, we can’t talk. Or read. Or use tools. Or crap in a box.

No matter. That’s what we took up with humans for, see? Let them do all that monkey business. But we’re smart. Smart as a fox, ever hear that? Sure you did. That’s us. Some of it is intuition. We’re born with it, like. But we listen, too, and we pay attention. Not much gets pas—

Wiener! Come on… Come onnnn…

No.

So, what was I saying? Smart as a fox, yeah. So that’s it. That’s how I got “The Assignment.” Because I got brains, see?

They tell me, in so many words, “You have one job. Keep Drew safe.” I don’t know why. That’s not my business. Problem is, I don’t know how, either. I mean, I hardly ever see that kid. It’s been a couple of years, I’ll bet. Human years.

Hang on, I’m tangled in this leash. Lauren’s paying no attention and Kate’s clueless. Okay, there we go.

So, whatever. I have one job. I stay alert. I watch for threats. I practice with Lauren. Anybody gets close to her, I jump, I shout, I snarl. It’ll all come in handy at som—

“Hey! Watch it, moron!”

Sorry. Some dirtbag just came tottering into us. Knocked Kate’s phone out of her hand. Smelled like piss. But not good piss. Nothing I can work with. I don’t think he meant any trouble, but I ran him off. Good practice.

So, anyway, speaking of smell, I caught wind of Kate’s scheme pretty much right off. Kate, Eric, Arnold, they’re all using Lauren. I hear things. Dawn I don’t know so much about. She’s alright, I guess. Keeps a distance from the others. Haven’t seen her around much lately.

Come to think of it, I can smell her now. She’s here somewhere, upwind. Out of sight.

Drew, he’s the smartest of the bunch, I remember that much. But how am I supposed to keep him safe when he’s never around? Answer me that, eh, bub?

“Hey, look out!”

Another bozo, can you believe it? This giant ape just careened into all three of us, tripped on my leash. Nearly choked me out. It took me a beat to catch on to what I was smelling. It’s not good, that’s for sure. Not animal, not human. Makes my skin crawl. My hair’s sticking straight up and there’s this rumble coming up from deep in my chest, a growl, I can’t even control it, it’s instinct. The apeman turns tail and beats a retreat before I tear his throat open.

That was a close call, bub. I mean, that was tense. Kate and Lauren are scampering around, picking up all the crap that spilled out of Lauren’s purse, so I do a good long stretch, tail up, snoot down, to work out some of that tension.

Then, out of nowhere, something smells amazing. What is that? It’s moving this way, and my frigging tail is going bonkers. I’m yapping. Yeah, I know, bub, but there’s no other word for it.

Ah, cripes, it’s Eric. I can’t stand that sleazeball, but whatever he has in that sack has me ready to make nice. I jump for the sack and miss. Before I can pounce again, he just flings the bag onto the ground. Whoa! I’m on it like flies on poop, you better believe I am, lapping up that slop like nobody’s business. I’m in heaven, and then Lauren makes a choking noise and she whirls around and spews. Suddenly I’m just surrounded by smells and I’m about to jump out of my skin when I realize that I’m loose.

I’m loose! Lauren’s dropped the leash. I don’t know whether to lap up this greasy pile of garbage or this new stinking puddle that Lauren’s just made. And then it hits me. Wiener man! I hightail it off the sidewalk and into the street and I’m so frigging fast and I’m darting right and then I’m darting left and I’m gulping up as much of this glorious air of freedom as I can before somebody grabs me and then — SCREEEE! — a car barrels around the corner right at me and I just freeze.

I’m a goner. I already know it, Jacko. Lauren and Kate are sprinting toward me and the car is coming fast and then it hits a wall and skids and flips over and scrapes along the asphalt until it stops not twenty feet away. I run for Lauren but Kate gets her paws on me and locks me to her chest. I squirm and I kick but she’s got me in a death grip.

Something explodes — BLAM! — and I nearly poop. Can barely hold it. Then another explosion. People are falling in the street and I smell blood and — maybe you don’t know this — I cannot resist the scent of blood. It makes me crazy. More explosions. I jerk my body this way and that way, trying to get loose, and then, without warning, Kate screams some gibberish and launches me into the air. Launches me!

I’m like a frigging wiener up here, somersaulting, everything whizzing past my eyes. I tell you, bub, I thought I was going to lose it, out one end or out the other, and I just shut my eyes to keep from hurling.

And then I was down. Lying belly up like a lap dog in the arms of some human I’ve never seen. I flip over to make a break, then — CRACK! — his head pops and blood sprays everywhere and I run like I’ve never run in my life straight back to Lauren and she scoops me up in her arms. And then I see him. Drew!

This must be it, right? “The Assignment.” Drew is talking to Kate, and I figure I better get loose and be ready in case something big goes down. My heart is going ratatat and I’m squirming in Lauren’s arms.

Out of the corner of my eye I see one of the dead humans stand up from the street blood puddle. Blood all over him. Even from here I can smell him. He has that same not-human smell that the giant ape had. I bare my teeth, ready to do whatever I have to. Keep Drew safe. But the not-human runs off down the street, limping, and I seem to be the only one who noticed him.

Humans are just running everywhere in the street, chasing paper, ducking into stores, kneeling over bodies. All I can smell now is blood and fire. I see Drew tear off down the street in the same direction as the non-human. That’s not good. Then Dawn pops up from behind a bin with something sharp and shiny in her hand, and she runs off after Drew. Oh, no. Not on my watch, you don’t.

Sirens are screaming all around us. Lauren moves off down the road at a fast clip, crushing me against her chest. Over her shoulder, I see several giant black trucks roll up from every direction and angry humans dressed all in black pour out of them. I just catch a glimpse of a pack of those angry humans surrounding Kate and Eric and Arnold.

Drew is out there, I don’t know where, and Dawn and the non-human are out there, too. Maybe even the giant ape that clobbered us earlier. It’s almost too much for one wolf, bub. But I got one job. Protect Drew. I need to get loose from Lauren’s grip and take care of business.

Lauren is running now, and the last thing I see as she darts around a corner is the wiener cart toppled, and the wiener man scurrying around, shooing away pigeons and picking up dozens of steaming wieners where they’ve spilled over the sidewalk and into the street like a frigging feast.

Can you believe the luck?

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